Tomorrow is the two year anniversary of when I made my list of dreams. When I think of all that has changed in my life it amazes me that only two years have passed - thirty dreams have come to completion and my life is forever changed. I've been thinking about the emotional state I was in when I made my list of dreams. I'd just celebrated my birthday with the present of tremendous heartache. I felt like my insides overflowed with pain and that my life had little purpose. I had no idea where I was going and I felt alone.
This past Friday I celebrated my birthday in a much different way. It started on Wednesday night, when my California parents threw me a dinner party that included lawn bowling, charades, and a whole lot of laughter and love. Friday was another party where I learned how to pole dance. (Ladies you have to try this. It's like being on the playground again, but in a sexier way.) Then my friends took me dancing. The next day, I went to Los Angeles for more celebration. I've been flooded with presents, lunches, friendship, well-wishes, flowers, and most importantly love and a sense of belonging.
Going after my dreams continues to open my life in ways I couldn't have imagined. I've been asked by someone who saw the site if I would consider speaking in El Salvador about going after dreams and focusing your mind to create the life you want. This man wants to create a foundation where we would use the website to sell fair trade products to create jobs in third world countries while inspiring people to go after their dreams of a better life. A similar opportunity is opening in Romania. I don't know if either will work, but I can dream that this journey of mine can not only change my life, but help others to change theirs as well.
In all that has come to me, I've realized that I need to stop putting a time limit on when I complete my list. I originally placed the time limit because I didn't want to lose my focus. Now that going after my dreams has become a deeper part of my being, I no longer want to rush the experience. I want this journey to take me where it will lead without preconceived notions or stress.
I've always viewed my birthday as my New Year. When I think about what I want for this coming year, I realize I want to live as decadently as I can - to taste life without fear, worry, or self-doubt. I want it all and in the process of living to the fullest I hope that I can also help others to do the same.
It's a decadent life if you want it to be - go live it that way.