Cars whizzed by honking their horns to tell me they were passing. Traffic was horrendous, I was blocked in on every side, yet somehow cars were able to continue to weave where I thought there was no room. I was in the middle of Rio, lost, unable to pull off or turn around and return to the airport to get my bearings and I knew that I had missed a turn half an hour ago. People began crossing the roads in this crazy traffic and now I felt like I was in the middle of a video game instead of driving a car. In the past I would've been terrified and at first I was. Then I remembered a dream on my list - trust in God/ Higher Power Always and a calm surrender came. I'd put my faith in something more than me and I'd be guided. I would accept the outcome no matter what and that's when the opening came in the traffic and I saw a huge gas station ahead. I was able to pull over, somehow get directions, and trust that I was going in the right direction. To be honest I had no clue if it was right or not, but I had two choices - trust or freak out. I decided to trust.
On this journey of going after my dreams, I've doubted my decision wondering if I'd end up broke, alone, and without a career. I've had no idea how I was going to complete my list. I've had many days of falling on my knees in tears asking God, "What the heck am I doing?" I've wondered if I was working with all my heart only to fail in the end.
I wanted to trust that everything would be okay - but so many times I tried to pull back my trust telling God that things were coming too slowly. Some of it comes from a past where every time things were really good I felt like the bottom fell out from beneath me, and trying to overcome limiting beliefs was hard to do.
Going after my dreams was like jumping off a cliff on a regular basis wondering not if the parachute was going to open, but if I had the materials to make the parachute or heck the wings I needed in order to fly. But on this journey, miracles have come to my life. I've found strength in my faith, and along the way I've been guided to do the work I can and leave the rest to something more.
I'll still get scared. I'll have moments when I doubt that everything will be okay, but this journey of making almost 90 of my dreams come true has made me realize that not only can I have faith in something more - there's a power in this life that wants us to be abundant and to have all our dreams. We are meant to enjoy this life and live it to the max. It's not a God that punishes, but ourselves who create the pain in our lives. For when you trust in something higher, no matter what is going on, you will be led to a place of love.