It's been a crazy few weeks. I'm sure most people can relate. Between trying to enjoy every special moment of the holiday season, to dealing with inner demons, the emotional ride has spun, flipped, and dropped making my stomach uneasy. In the end, I was given the greatest gift I could receive - knowing I'm loved not for what I give to others, but for who I am. By sharing my feelings of being a doormat, a friend who was dealing with her own stuff, turned to me and held out her hand. She saw that I gave more than I had and explained that loving her doesn't mean I have to make her problems disappear. She really looked at me. I have a tendency to hide my fears, anxieties, and worries. I dance through life keeping an upbeat attitude, but it doesn't mean there isn't a storm inside. Because of this, people believe that I don't need help.
I have a history of giving the world to people. I was once called Julie, the social director from the Love Boat. I made everyone's lives fun and exciting. I was there to talk in their times of stress. When I had to back off from being the social, bubbly director, people turned and attacked.
In going after making my 101 dreams come true, I asked to find a group of positive people who loved to get the most out of life. This week, I've realized that my dream really did come true. I'm surrounded by people who have supported me in learning that it's not what I do for them that makes them love me, but it's who I am. I don't always have to be the cheerleader, I can fall apart.
Out of all the dreams that could come true, I believe this is my favorite. Thank you Jasmin, you really are a great gift in my life. And thank you to David, Todd, Kelli, Jim, Mignon, Dave, Leann, my mom, and all the others in my life who were there for me as I fell apart. I'm truly blessed.
Now it's time to get back to making this list of dreams come true. Onward to planning S. America. Two more weeks till I get to go to Gillette Stadium for a Patriot's game. Can I put in a wish for them to win too?