By nine a.m. this morning my skates were laced and I was stepping onto the rink. I love the first step onto clean ice before anyone else has made a mark on the glassy surface. My blades glide over the slippery surface as I do laps to warm-up. This is where I go full speed not worrying about intricate turns or posture. My muscles tighten as they awaken and I can feel whether I'm tired or energized for my workout. Tears run from my eyes as the cold air hits my face. As I did these first laps, a woman my age stepped onto the rink and joined my coach. As she began her lesson I saw that she was a beginner just learning to cross one foot over the other and turn from forward to back. I watched as she struggled through her fear to try new steps.
I finished my laps and began practicing the new footwork I need to learn in order to make my dream come true of passing Senior Moves in the Field. I stood at the starting position and gave myself a pep-talk. These moves scare me. With each quick turn of the blade I can easily fall. I broke my hand when I first began to learn one of the patterns. I know two women who have broken their ankles doing these moves. I took a deep breath, walked through my fear and began to skate. I saw improvement with each pattern I completed. The moves weren't perfect, but suddenly I could do turns I'd never been able to do.
As I finished the steps I looked at the woman who was just starting to skate. A few years back I was in her position; every time I stepped onto the ice I froze in terror. I'm still afraid, but not of the things that once scared me - those are now easily done without thought. Instead I fear things more complicated than I ever dreamed I would accomplish.
I thought about my list of 101 Dreams Come True. I'm so afraid of going after them, but it starts with a step. Just one. I will fall, possibly fail at times. I will get frustrated and scared, but as long as I keep going I will achieve things I never thought possible.